How To Effectively Feel Confident In Any Body Type: Guaranteed!

Image via Buzzfeed

“Curvy girls do it better, who wants to cuddle a stick?”

“You wouldn’t want a steak that was nothing but bone, why would you want a

woman that was?”

From the standpoint of someone who has been on the internet since 11 years old, I can gladly say that I have not seen quotes like the above in years. Gradually, I seemed to have found a circle of online content that aims to be uplifting to women without approval of the male gaze. To me, one of the most admirable tenets of feminism is the endeavor to put women’s worth back into their own hands. I say admirable, because it is such a complicated, ingrained issue, and is not easily done. This discussion is incredibly relevant concerning the body positivity movement. We currently strive to undo the demeaning ideals behind the beginning comments, yet continue to fall into the same trap. Let me explain.

Body positivity is a term that has seen increased popularity in the past five years, and for good reason. There has been a rise in incidence of anorexia in young women 15-19 in each decade since 1930 [1], the rate of development of new cases of eating disorders has been increasing since 1950 [2], and the incidence of bulimia in 10-39 year old women TRIPLED between 1988 and 1993 [3]. The goal of the body positivity movement has been to show women(or really, anyone) that they are allowed to feel comfortable in their bodies no matter what they look like. This has led to inspirational body image blogs, pictures, post, accounts, etc. All of the aforementioned pushes the rhetoric that “all bodies are beautiful”. This line, in itself, is a nice sentiment. Truth be told, the insistence on this ideology by media outlets, fashion brands,skincare companies and etc has shown to be helping perceived body image in some women. A survey recently conducted by Refinery29 (an American-based fashion, style and beauty website) asked questions of 1,100 readers ages 18 to 54. On ‘How We View Our Bodies’, 54% reported feeling “mostly happy with their bodies”, and on ‘Body Diversity in Media’,56% said seeing it “made them feel better about themselves”. [4]

Of course, this all seems like a step in the right direction. However, the problem lies when you classify the entire movement as ‘Good’ without stepping back and breaking it apart.The idea that ‘all bodies are beautiful’ is inherently...empty. Yes, it works as a very useful self esteem boost, and I definitely agree that representation is the first step in breaking down stereotypes about weight. But, it also relies on a very disgusting ideal: Beauty is the final goal.When you look at it from this perspective, you can see it as it really is. Nothing more than a band-aid solution. At it’s very base, it is simply a watered down version of “Women with curves are made to be enjoyable to look at and that’s why you have worth.” Even when the focus is on intrinsic gratification of your own beauty, it is still the same line of rhetoric that hinges on beauty for a modifier for worth, repackaged for a feminist audience. “If only you’d just realize how aesthetically pleasing you are, you can truly accept yourself!” It is only a means to an end- that end being a vast multitude of empowered women shouting from the rooftops, “I have successfully achieved femininity!”

Instead of following the social standards of beauty, the body positivity movement focuses on changing them. This is not the answer! To fix the root of the problem you must dig it out entirely! That means we must develop a TOTAL disregard for flawed social standards of beauty. Call women ugly without malice, describe someone as fat without wincing. Negative descriptors of appearances are not bad words! The fact that we are okay with calling someone talentless if we really believe it, but hesitate to mention if they are conventionally unattractive,shows where we place our value in people.

Does that mean we are shallow validation chasers if we enjoy how we look, or put effort into looking beautiful? Of course not. The bottom line is: you do not have to think your body is beautiful to be body positive. That one truth is why the body positivity movement was doomed to fail from the start. So, how should we be practicing body positivity? The answer is not some profound truth. Learn an instrument. Pick up a new language. Go to the library and study something interesting to you. Call a friend you haven’t talked to in a while. Write a novel! Write a to-do list! Write an essay about body image! All I can say is that hopefully in the not too distant future, an 11 year old girl on the internet will be able to find more articles on easy ways to retain neuro plasticity when learning a new subject, rather than thought pieces on how to create the best facade of femininity for your body type.

[1] (Hoek & van Hoeken, 2003)

[2] (Hudson et al., 2007; Streigel-Moore &Franko, 2003; Wade et al., 2011)

[3] (Hoek & van Hoeken, 2003)

[4] Refinery29 “How Women See Their Bodies Now”, 2016http://www.refinery29.com/2016/04/107683/female-body-image-statistics-2016